It's Time to Move On

When you’re in a relationship, your mate has become a significant part of your everyday routine, from waking up in the morning and getting that “good morning, beautiful” text to cuddling on the couch watching Netflix on a rainy Friday night. The good, the bad, and the ugly times are all memorable parts of your experience together. But when you have invested so much time, energy and sometimes money into a person, it can be devastating for the relationship to come to a close. You sit and wonder, “Why did this have to end this way?”

It’s the “why” that keeps our wounds open for several months, or even years, after a break up. If only we knew why it happened. If only we knew what went wrong, we could prevent it from happening again...right? It’s those unanswered questions that causes us not to have the closure we need to heal. And often times, with no closure, there is no healing. And with no healing comes baggage—feelings of anger, confusion, and resentment. Luckily, there are steps you can take to get the closure you need to move on with your life...

First, answer these questions: What did you tell yourself about the breakup? Did you blame yourself or did you blame your ex? Do you feel like there was something you could have done better? These questions will help you get a clearer idea of how you are mentally processing the breakup.

Sometimes we struggle with overcoming a breakup because there is unfinished business. Is there something that you would do or say if you could speak to your ex again? If so, write it down and read it back to yourself out loud. Now, put yourself in you ex’s shoes and respond to yourself. The exercise allows you to put yourself on the receiving end of your thoughts or actions so that you can view yourself from a critical, yet constructive standpoint.

Now, what could you change about yourself that would prevent this from happening again? Even if you are not the blame for the breakup, you should find at least one thing that you want to do better next time. This is a chance for you to once again give yourself some constructive criticism.

Lastly, give yourself time to heal. As the saying goes, “Time heals all wounds”. As time goes on, your broken heart will slowly subside. You will find new interests, hobbies, and potential mates, which will give you a boost of renewed hope. You must try to be your best self at this point. Being the best you can be is what gives you the closure you yearn for. You are your own person, and now you must regain control of your own life. You’re now off to a new start, so get ready for this new journey. The relationship with your significant other may be over, but a new, healthy, loving relationship with yourself has just begun.